My Name's Not Phil!

This one really shows that I need to get a life. Funny though.



Stranger: heey
Stranger: asl
You: Nineteen
You: UK
You: FEMALE
Stranger: girl tight
Stranger: u know
You: OH
You: i know alright
You: i know...
You: NOW we know
You: NOW we know
Stranger: mhm
You: NOW WE KNOW
Stranger: chilll
You: k
Stranger: how u doin?
You: im a bit flustered
Stranger: just cool off girl
Stranger: talk to me..
You: hi
Stranger: going for it huh
You: sure am
You: OMFG
You: calm down
Stranger: i see
You: im having...
You: im having a womans period
You: :/
You: this hand isnt mine!
You: whats happening to me?
Stranger: awww just warm something up and lay it down ur belly hun
You: im going to go tear the curtains down
You: they're staring at me funny
Stranger: really?
You: yeah, they're all up in my face
You: I CANT BREATH
You: I CANT GET OUT
Stranger: nineteen?
You: oh, found the door!
You: phew
You: twenty one?
Stranger: im 19 too
Stranger: what are u into?
Stranger: besides....omegle
You: skinning animals
You: you?
Stranger: murdering skinners
You: theres no return from 86
You: omg you're going to kill me
Stranger: i dont have too
Stranger: some one else
You: i need to phone the police
Stranger: is gonna be with you
You: wheres the FUCKING phone
You: i cant breath
You: the air in here... its too WARM
Stranger: he gonna watch you
You: and MOIST
Stranger: when ur lonely
Stranger: and iwth out light
You: where did i put my uterus?
Stranger: he going to watch ou
You: OMG
You: i cant find my uterus
Stranger: when ur sleeping
Stranger: when its all dark
You: where the hell is it!
You: my mums going to kill me if i cant find it
Stranger: BANGGGGGGGGGG\
Stranger: AND THEN
You: thats my placenta you fool!
Stranger: OH LA LA
You: i need my uterus
Stranger: he gonna take and lift up ur blanket
Stranger: really sooon
Stranger: sweetie
You: my financial status is of no importance to you
Stranger: im saying
You: get your own bank statements BITCH
Stranger: im sorry for you
You: im so sorry
You: i didnt mean to call you bitch
You: im just very emotional
You: my dog killed herself today
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: sorry
You: she.... used her lead...
You: she tied one end to a tree
Stranger: do u belie in something
Stranger: believe
You: and then... hung herself
Stranger: in good.
Stranger: god?
You: it was horrific
Stranger: or christ
You: sometimes, i dont think you're even listening to me
Stranger: angels?
Stranger: they do
Stranger: even now
Stranger: at the end
You: i keep a spare bottle opener in every orifice
Stranger: all comes back to you
You: its a neat party trick
Stranger: sure
Stranger: whats ur name?
You: Phil
You: yours?
Stranger: serious
Stranger: whats ur name
You: SUPER SERIOUS BLAD
You: Phil
Stranger: u said u were a girl dog
You: did i?
You: i dont think i did
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: ahahaha
You: liar
You: that doesnt sound like something i would say
Stranger: u fcked me dogg
You: i dont remember fucking you either
You: you have problems
Stranger: with that bullshitt iff yours
You: MY SOCKS ARE BLEEDING
Stranger: sure
You: Hi, I'm Phil
Stranger: u have to stop talking that bro
Stranger: its gonna mess u upp
Stranger: i got troubles too
Stranger: ut stay sobe man
Stranger: soberr
Stranger: dont give into that paranoide state
You: whats wrong with your keyboard?
You: it looks like its stuck on idiot mode
You: turn grammar back on too
Stranger: yeahhhhh
You: at the end of the day, its better for all of us
You: my nipples are getting angry
Stranger: im prob talking with a mental patience
You: a mental patience?
You: thats an interesting concept
Stranger: yeahhh i guess i am
You: can patience be mental?
Stranger: well good luck phil
You: my names not Phil
Your conversational partner has disconnected.