What will you do without The Walrus?

Its been a while Ladies and Gentleman. *tips hat*. Make sure you check out our other updates here, and our very own NMRNOMG's top submission to www.omegleconversations.com here.

Here is a rather long conversation I had with a young man in desperate need of some life lessons. I hope you all learn something also. All... four of our followers.

You: You notice The Walrus.

You: What will you do about The Walrus?

Stranger: I will ride The Walrus.

You: The Walrus dances around with glee. You mount him and he takes you on a magical adventure around the Globe. You enjoy it thoroughly. Sadly, you are now wanted in all countries aside from the one country you did not visit. North Korea. You are now North Korean.

You: What will you do about The Walrus?

Stranger: I will build The Walrus a great shrine filled with many photos of our adventure around the globe and worship him daily.

You: The Walrus dances around with glee. He loves his shrine and rewards you with another gleeful dance. Sadly, Kim Jong Il is not happy about this idle worship. He takes away the shrine and puts you and The Walrus in a heavily guarded cell in North Korea's best prison.

You: What will you do about The Walrus?

Stranger: I will drug The Walrus and take one of his strong, ivory tusks. I will spend 27 nights digging an underground tunnel to China, using only the smell of Sweet and Sour Chicken and the dim moonlight to guide me.

You: The Walrus dances around with pain. He is not happy. He bursts into tears on the 17th night. You are still digging when the tunnel starts to fill with tears. You manage to climb out of the tunnel but now your tunnel is filled with water.

You: What will you do about The Walrus?

Stranger: This time, I will do something different. I will ask The Walrus for a 34lb piece of his fat. We will use the fat as a raft, and sail down the tunnel together.

You: The Walrus dances around in discomfort. The tunnel is unfinished. You get to the end and turn around. Your rafting skills have gone up 6 points each and The Walrus is thinner.

You: What will you do about The Walrus?

Stranger: On the 142 night of our imprisonment, I will use my large, long, strong, hairy legs to seduce the guard. After he and I have relations, he will agree to keep our cell unlocked.

You: The Walrus dances around in disagreement. Thats one guard down. Theres a lot more. The cell is now unlocked but the guard's shift changes and a different guard notices the lack of lock. He orders for the guard to be killed. He also double locks the cell, and upon noticing your tunnel, fills it in with glass.

You: What will you do about The Walrus?

Stranger: I will take the glass, and using my own spit, create the most beautiful sculpture of Kim Jong II ever built. He will be so overjoyed, he will let The Walrus and I come live in peace and harmony and richness with him.

You: The Walrus dances around i artistic brilliance. Sadly, you have never seen Kim Jong Il before. You instead made a sculpture of Jackie Chan. Upon its presentation, he revokes your citizenship. Luckily for you there is a small piece of 5ftx5ft land that you may live on. Sadly, The Walrus is rather large and so you have to stand on his head.

You: What will you do about The Walrus?

Stranger: The Walrus will decide that he wants to live in the sea once again. He will take me to his home, with his mother and father and sisters and brothers. I will develop gills and tusks, and we will be happy.

You: The Walrus dances around in glee. Sadly, you are banned from every country. You attempt to leave your home, now called The Square Of Dispair, but are prevented by doing so by various Border Guards from various countries. You are still in The Square Of Despair.

You: What will you do about The Walrus?

Stranger: The Walrus and I will befriend a carpenter.

You: The Walrus dances around in friend filled glee. Sadly, there are no carpenters in The Square Of Despair. You are still in The Square Of Despair.

You: What will you do about The Walrus?

Stranger: Au contraire, my dear stranger. You see, The Square of Despair is actually a wooden box made by the charming young carpenter who will live with us. He worked for hours on this box, his tan and chiseled muscles gleaming with sweat in the sunlight when he took his shirt off.

You: The Walrus dances around in fear. Why is he scared you ask? He is scared because I make the rules here, and none may challenge them. The Square Of Despair (with a capitalised 'O' by the way), is not a box, it is a 5ft x 5ft square of barren land. Nothing more. Nothing less. You are still in The Square Of Despair, the only difference now is that The Walrus is stood on your head.

You: What will you do about The Walrus?

Stranger: I will sneeze, throwing The Walrus out of The Square of Despair (with a lowercase 'o') and into the water.

You: The Walrus dances around in flight. It is now that you realise that The Walrus is not banned from other countries, only you. He has befriended you and stood by while you stole his tusks, cut off his fat and stood on his head for no other reason than to make sure you will always have a friend. The Border Guards will not let him back into The Square Of Despair and with a tear forming in his eye he dances a final sorrowful dance and slowly swims into the distance. I hope you have gained somethhing from this experience Stranger.

You: What will you do without The Walrus?

You: *Shutting down Simulation: Best Friend*

You: *Goodbye Stranger*

You have disconnected.