Telekinesis

Good Evening. I have not blogged for a week or so, so here is a dusty, old thing from the The Great Boberic Archives!

Stranger: yo
You: Good evening Sir.
You: What is your name?
You: OH SHIT!
Stranger: ?
You: WE DON'T HAVE TIME!
Stranger: ?
You: WE MUST LEAVE!
Stranger: mmmm kay
You: Just touch my left shoulder to continue.
You: IT'S COMING!
Stranger: *touches left shoulder
You: We have no time for dilly dallying.
You: Finish the action Sir!
You: It is not fully enclosed!
Stranger: *touches left shoulder!*
You: *The Gentleman (me) and the Thief (you) dissapear from sight*
You: *they reappear in a small cave*
You: We shall be safe here.
Stranger: omg ur dumbledorf
You: No Sir. I am The Great Boberic.
You: Now then. Why did you steal my Monocle?
Stranger: i stole it bcause i have bad isight
You: I see. Well may i have it back?
Stranger: if i can have a monocle that is not yours
You: I shall forge you one!
You: Now hand over my Monocle!
Stranger: WIN!
Stranger: *hands over monocle!*
You: *puts on monocle*
You: That's much better.
You: Now then Sir. About that monocle!
Stranger: it is very dank and smelly in this cave
You: Would you like one of such great power as mine?
You: The cave is not of importance!
Stranger: i would be very much pleased to have one of such great importance
You: Of importance or of power, Sir?
Stranger: of importance yes!
You: Ok then Sir.
You: *raises right hand*
You: Are you ready?
Stranger: YES SIR!!!
Stranger: monocle where is?
You: *Lifts up the Thief with Great Gentlemanly Telekineses*
You: Now then.
Stranger: i am in air why sir?
You: Time to FORGE *lightening shatters outside* *thunder roars*
You: *Locates Thiefs left rib using Great Gentlemanly Telekineses*
You: *Rips out left rib using Great Gentlemanly Telekineses*
Stranger: OWWWWWWWW!
You: Don't worry about the pain.
You: It shall soon subside.
You: *Uses Gentlemanly Aura to heal Thief*
You: There we go Sir.
Stranger: aura feels sensational
You: *Lifts rib into the air*
You: *Bends rib into a perfect circle*
You: *Rips out thiefs left eye using Great Gentlemanly Telekineses*
Stranger: OMG MY EYE!!!

You: *Attatches eye to rib*
You: *Uses Gentlemanly Aura to heal Thief*
Stranger: y thank yous
You: *Creates invisible link from Thiefs eye back to Thiefs brain*
You: Now you should be able to see again.
You: Is that correct Sir?
Stranger: you are very kind sir
You: Good.
You: We are not done yet!
Stranger: o rly?
You: We still need a chain to connect the monocle to your pocket!
Stranger: we could use hair lined with platinum
You: *Rips out all of the Thiefs pubic hairs*
You: They will never grow back Sir.
You: But i'm sure you are fine with such a sacrifice.
Stranger: idk if that is good or bad
Stranger: i am willing kind si
Stranger: r
You: This is after all, a MONOCLE OF IMPORTANCE!
Stranger: O YES!!
You: *Creates a chain out of Thiefs pubic hair*
You: *Strengthens pubic hair using Great Gentlemanly Waistcoat*
Stranger: of platinum?
You: *Attatches Chain to Monocle*
You: NO!
You: How dare you question me!
You: *Lifts Thief into air*
You: Do
You: NOT
You: FUCK
Stranger: I APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY

You: WITH
You: ME!!!!
You: I
You: AM
You: THE
You: GREAT
You: BOBERIC!!!!
You: *Slams thief into cave wall*
You: wall*
Stranger: o great boberic please me forgive
You: *Puts Thief down*
Stranger: gracias
You: Lets hope you don't step out of line again Sir.
Stranger: SIR YES SIR!
You: *Hands over Monocle to Thief*
You: There you go.
Stranger: why thank you for this monocle of great importance!!
Stranger: a gift from the great boberic!!
You: Attatch it to your Waistcoat then!
Stranger: *attach to waistcoat with gentle manliness*
You: Wonderful*
You: !
You: Now then.
You: Thief.
You: What shall we do about your..... discrepancies?
Stranger: discrepancies? that is a big word my kind sir
You: You stole from me you little shit.
Stranger: I APOLOGIZE GREATLY!!! I SHALL NEVER STEAL AGAIN!!!
You: You are right about that Thief!
You: *Creates a gentlemanly cage around Thief*
You: You will notice the cage is rather large.
You: Now, i wonder.
You: What else could possibly fit in there?
You: Any guesses?
Stranger: LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS O MY!
You: Not quite!
You: *Summons the mighty Rancor into the cage*
You: *Rancor lunges at Thief*
You: *Halts Rancor using Gentlemanly Telepathy*
You: You are safe.
You: For now.
You: Now then.
Stranger: I AM FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT
You: What have you got to offer me for your survival?
Stranger: Well I have gold, and some embroidered handkerchiefs, and this monocle of grate importance
You: I need your secrets, not petty treasures!

*Rancor smashes Thief across the jaw, sending him sprawling across the cage*
Stranger: i have secrets o yes i do!
Stranger: lots of secrety secrets just for you!
Stranger: Well
Stranger: lets see
Stranger: there is a lady
Stranger: with such a great
Stranger: bosom
You: This should be good...
You: You BORE ME!
Stranger: that lives in a palace of greeat luxury
Stranger: and she loves gentlemen
You: *Rancor rips the Thiefs lower legs away from the rest of his body*
Stranger: especially BOBERIC!!!
You: You think I can't get women!
You: FOOL!
Stranger: especially boberic!!

Stranger: i no can type
Stranger: why can no i type
Stranger: HELLO!!!!!
You: I've had enough of this tomfoolery!
You: *Summons Noble Tortoise*
Stranger: MY MASTER OF THEIVERY HAS MANY GREAT TREASURE FOR UUU!
You: *Steps up onto Noble Tortoise*
Stranger: i can type agian btw
You: I bid thee good day fool!
Stranger: I can tell u the secret of how ninjas and theives are so fast!
You: I hope you and the Rancor enjoy eachothers company!

*laughs maniacly*
Stranger: Monocle of great importance stuns Rancor!
Stranger: *Rancor is stunned*
You: *Rides into distance on Noble Tortoise* *Releases Rancor from its mental restraints*
You: *Rancor recovers*
You: *rancor rips off Thiefs Lower JAW!
You: *
Stranger: uses theifly skills to punch Rancor *Critical hit!!!*
You: *Thief is unable to talk*
You: *Rancor mauls thief to little pieces*
You: *Rancor picks up Monocle Of Importance*
You: *Rancor puts on Monocle*
You: *Rancor transforms into a GIANT TOBLERONE*
You: *Giant Toblerone dissapears from view*
You: *Cave melts*
Stranger: *theif thinks HOLY SHIT*
You: *Thief is dead*
You have disconnected.

Omeglets - #1

Just some short omegles to pass the time.

Stranger: Let's cut to the chase, tell me which of the following you are:
A) Male (not horny) looking to speak with a female
B ) Male (not horny) looking to speak with a male
C) Female (not horny) looking to speak with a male
D) Female (not horny) looking to speak with a female
E) Male (horny) looking to speak with a female
F) Male (horny) looking to speak with a male
G) Female (horny) looking to speak with a male
H) Female (horny) looking to speak with a female.
You: I) Feels sorry for you
Stranger: lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hi
You: eh?
Stranger: wha
You: moo?
Stranger: woof
You: dont be an idiot
You: we're all adults here
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hi im looking for horny girl
You: OMG REALLY, BECAUSE I WAS LOOKING FOR A DESPERATE LONELY TEENAGER
You: PERFECT
You: no girl will ever want you
You: remember that
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I am refusing to speak first
You: FUCK
You have disconnected.

Byee

iPod Shufflin'

I shoved my iPod on shuffle and well, this is the outcome. Obviously I didn't put the band names in the conversation, they're just there for reference.

You: ready to kick out the jams(RATM)?
Stranger: jams?
Stranger: *gets equiped*
You: yes, but i should warn you, they are quite far away(Wolfmother)
Stranger: LETS DO IT
You: they're in hotel yorba(White Stripes) i think
You: lets just go with the flow (QOTSA)
Stranger: naw im doing this my way
You: well IM your daddy (Weezer)
You: so do it my way, or no ball and biscuit (White Stripes)
Stranger: *fires all his guns at the hotel*
You: shit, this monkeys gone to heaven (Pixies)
Stranger: BRING DOWN THE HOTEL
You: stop whispering (Radiohead)
Stranger: F*CK THE JAMS YEARGH
You: wake up (RATM)! cant you see!
You: theres a 300mph torriential outpour blues (White Stripes) coming our way
Stranger: I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY AWESOME 25.MM!!!!
You: let down... (Radiohead)
You: We suck YOUNG blood (Radiohead)
You: i have an idea, lets speak in tongues (Placebo), for safety
You: you beautiful freak (Eels) you
Stranger: you can lick it off there corpses if you want
You: thats the street spirit (Radiohead)
You: we need to get back in the USSR (The Beatles)
Stranger: i do the killin you do the lickin
You: they're coming! keep me alive! (Echobrain)
Stranger: RAAAAAAAAAAAGE
Stranger: FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAAAAAAAHHH
You: lets get out of here, theres something in the way (Nirvana)
Stranger: WRHAHAHAHAHAhaha..-
Stranger: im out of ammo
You: Smile, it could be worse (Weezer)
Stranger: i still have this granede
Stranger: hey where's the pin
Stranger: ...
You: oh shit, Mr. Brownstone! you idiot (GnR)
Stranger: fffffffffffffffffffuck
Stranger: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
You: we're going to need a new pony... (The Dead Weather)
Stranger: *sniff*
Stranger: poor pony
You: You dont know what love is! (White Stripes)
You: i hope you choke (Feeder)
Stranger: thanks mr vampire
You: actually im a spaceman (The Killers)
Stranger: okay Mr. spaceman
You: can we go home yet? (Dream Theater
Stranger: o hey an army
Stranger: and another one
You: is lovely rita with them? (The Beatles)
Stranger: and the justice league
You: we can run away now they're all dead and gone (Snow Patrol)
Stranger: and the league of super evil
Stranger: and kenny
Stranger: o whoops he died
You: damn it, i wanted his sugalumps (Flight of the Conchords)
Stranger: i just noticed
You: what? did he rock the house? (Gorillaz)
Stranger: this is quicksand
You: too many words! not enough action (Sick Puppies)
Stranger: okay
You: im falling down (Muse)
Stranger: *jetpack out of F*CKING NOWHERE*
You: lets go, anywhere but here (Sick Puppies)
Stranger: lets go spacecowboy
You: turn me around, im slipping (Weezer)
Stranger: no time for slipping
Stranger: TURBO SUPER MEGA OVER 929064640346MPH SPEED
You: there he is! its Jesus of surburbia, go to him (Green Day)
Stranger: k
Stranger: here we are
You: fancy a game of uno? (Muse)
Stranger: hey a nuke
You: pull me under! (Dream Theater)
Stranger: its beeping...
Stranger: why is it beeping?
You: its going to create a black hole sun i bet (Soundgarden)
Stranger: oh wait
Stranger: WTF
Stranger:

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
You: OH SHIT, im the exploding boy! (The Cure)
Stranger: and they all died
Stranger: the end
Stranger: well goodnight
You: goodnight sweet darlin' (She & Him)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Good Evening!

Well, I think it's fair to say that a mere tip of the hat isn't a decent way to introduce oneself! I am The Great Boberic! *tips hat* (I said it wasn't a decent way not that it isn't awesome). I will be sharing with you some of my adventures and may expose you to my magnificence through random chatterings. For today I shall share with you a small extract from my Omegle library, just to ease you into the madness. When you reach the large block of text you may attempt to read it all, but if you wish not to, simply read what hath been emboldened and enlargened.


You: Hey!
You: Asl?
Stranger: heyyy
Stranger: 20/m/cali
You: Kl!
Stranger: what about you?
You: 19/f/uk
Stranger: awesome
Stranger: waht u do for fun
You: Anything =P
You: But you have to pass the test
Stranger: =)
Stranger: ok
Stranger: bring it on
You: If you can, ill do anything for you!
Stranger: okkk
Stranger: wahts the test
You: You just have to read what i next write, once you've read it, youll no what to do! And don't just skip to the end because that won't help you lol
Stranger: ok
You: ifitypewithnospacesthepagewillscrollsidewaysinsteadofdownwardsisntthatawesomeitsanamazingfindithinkyoullagreewouldyouliketojoininthefestivitieswithmeibetyouwouldgoontheressomefantaovertherewouldyoulikesomeareyoustillreadingibetyouareibetyouhaventheardaboutthecursehaveyouohnoitsgonnagetyouyoudbetterstopreadingbutyoucantcanyouyouarecaptivatedbythelongevityofmywordingwellinthiscasethecatcertainlywaskilledwasntitohyoullfindoutsoonnotsoonenoughthoughitscomingthumpthumpthumpiiiiiitsheerrreeeeeehellomrcurseohhellomrcursecreaterhowareyouohmeimfinewhosthatohhesthecursedohokthenomnomnomnomnomheateyousuchashameandeventhoughyoufeelnodifferentyouwillnowrealisethateverythingfeelssetuplikesomeformoftrumanshowbutwithoutjimcareysolessfunnybutneverminditsyourcursewhywoulditbefunnylookatyoutheonlywaytoliftthecurseistosendthisto5morepeoplebutyouhavetotypeitwordforwordandnotcopyandpastethatwillonlyenvokethewrathofmrcurseandyoudontwantthatdoyouohyeahtheresalsosomespriteandiceteaovertherefeelfreetohelpyourselfalsoimadudesonocamforyoulolowned
Stranger: tghat was long
You: Did you read it all?
Stranger: ya
Stranger: ur a dude
Stranger: ?
You: Haha, yeahh
You: Sorry dude.
Stranger: wahts the point in all that
You: I wrote all of that out and no ones ever bothered to read it.
Stranger: oh
You: So i figured id use the desperation of the ASL clan to my advantage.
Stranger: gotcha
Stranger: kinda lame
Stranger: but w/e
You: Yeah
You: So is trying to get laid on omgle
You: But w/e
You: omegle*
Stranger: hsa
You: Yes...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

That is all *tips hat* *jumps onto Noble Tortoise of DOOM!* *rides off on Noble Tortoise of DOOM!*

Lets start this off.

Forgot to mention in the first post, If you don't know what omegle is, instead of explaining. Just go there yourself. http://omegle.com You won't regret it.

This is CURSED:

Stranger: whatchur name?
You: NMRNOMG
You: you?
Stranger: Chelsea(:
You: awesome sauce
You: i have an ex called chelsea
You: i dont know why you want to know
Stranger: :D I SAY THAT ALL THE TIME
You: but it seemed relevant
Stranger: :/
You: AWESOME SAUCE
Stranger: i pained my face today
Stranger: i was a kitty :P
You: you pained your face?
Stranger: :D
You: that must have been...painful
Stranger: hahahaha
You: how does one pain themselves in the face
Stranger: painted*
You: OH
You: well that changes everything
You: i would be more impressed if you pained your face into a kitty
Stranger: (:
Stranger: well then.
You: indeed
You: was her name brabra?
You: no i think it was barbara
Stranger: it was bertholomule
You: i doubt that
You: muchly
You: greatly
You: intensely
Stranger: (:
Stranger: how old be is you?
Stranger: haah sorry my inner- illerate came out.
You: i is are love illiteration
You: it can was my favourite
Stranger: :D
Stranger: :D
You: me is are 17+23-22
Stranger: 18?
Stranger: Lmao
You: WE HAVE A WINNER
Stranger: :D
You: you win
You: knowledge
Stranger: whats my prize!!!!
Stranger: :|.
You: KNOWLEDGE
You: or this copper sword
You: choice is yourcs
You: or yours
You: or his
Stranger: copper sword
Stranger: (:
You: YOU ACQUIRED COPPER SWORD
You: *celebration music*
Stranger: yayyyy
You: BUT
You: the Copper Sword was CURSED
You: *shock horror*
You: you now cant turn left
Stranger: :(
Stranger: D:
You: if you wish to take a left, you must do a complete right circle
Stranger: D: noooo
You: fraid so
You: you should have taken the knowledge
Stranger: D:
Stranger: i want knowledge on how to turn left agaiun
You: too late
You: you have to break the curse
Stranger: D:
Stranger: :( can i just pass the curse to my cat
Stranger: ?>
You: if you want your cat to die
You: unless your cat is called leonidus
Stranger: you soo mean NMRNOMG
Stranger: :(
You: i didnt make this curse
You: PLUS i gave you the option to take the knowledge
Stranger: :((((
Stranger: im saddddd
You: well, theres nothing i can do
Stranger: doesnt mr NMRNOMG have magic powers?
You: 1. you do not have permission to call my NMRNOMG 2. people who call me NMRNOMG without permission get cursed and 3. yes i do
Stranger: d:
Stranger: D:
You: you now cant turn right either
You: you are destined to walk in a straight line forever
Stranger: ahh. i dont like this game):
You: its not a game, this is really happening
Stranger: AHHH):
You: sorry about this
You: i didnt want for this to happen
You: but it was all down to you
Stranger: :) i want knowledgde
You: TOO LATE
You: you were tricked by the shiny copper sword
You: its beauty blinded you
You: and now the rust has taken you
Stranger: :) i cure my self
You: you cant
You: any attempts at curing yourself only results in further curses
Stranger: hahha i win(:
You: well no
You: because
You: no
Stranger: :D does it upset you?
You: you upset me
Stranger: (:
Stranger: but i looveee you(:
You: well
You: thats a statement
Stranger: (:
You: that is not returned
You: i do not love thee
Stranger: :'(
You: i cannot love a cursed person
You: how would we take walks if you cant turn left or right?
You: how would you return home after work?
You: i cannot walk around the world in a continuous straight line for eternity for you
You: you're just not that special to me
You: im sorry
You: this is a road you must walk alone
Stranger: i walk a lonely road. the road i will ever know.
Stranger: lmao
Stranger: the only*
You: no Green Day on this road im afraid
You: another condition of the curse
Stranger: XD
You: XD wont help you now
Stranger: all i need is hobos :D
You: there will be many hobos on your travels im sure
Stranger: :DDDDDDD
You: you overuse smilies
You: is this another curse?
You: did you take the bronze medallion?
Stranger: yes. sadly
You: will you ever learnd
You: learn*
Stranger: :) no
You: good! because i have this polysterene cabnet im getting rid of
You: want it?
Stranger: YESSS(:
Stranger: wait.
You: TOO LATE
Stranger: is itcursed?
You: you said yes
You: its yours
You: the curse has moved onto you
Stranger: :(
Stranger: hhaa*:
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Byee

NMRNOMG

This makes 4

This my 4th blog. Woop woop. NotMyRealNameOMG here for another exciting waste of the internet.

This blog is for the omegle conversations we find funny enough to share with the world. You know who I am. This is my cousin The Great Boberic *The Great Boberic tips hat*.

So yeah, Enjoy our omegles, When we decide to put some up. And if you're lucky we may even write some random shit along the way.

Byee

P.S. Don't forget. This monkeys gone ape shit!