Omeglets - #7

It sure has been a while hasn't it? That would be because I haven't been on omegle all that much lately. No, I haven't got a life yet, don't be silly. Anyway, boredom the other night led to me and The Great Boberic venturing onto the old chat site. Here's what I conjured up.



Stranger: hello
You: Are you a plucky young buckineer?
Stranger: what
You: Do you feel the undesirable urge to swashbuckle?
Stranger: what the fuck you talkin about dude
You: Do you wake up in a cold sweat shouting 'Hoist the main sail!'?
Stranger: are you a girl
You: Do you search for treasure wherever you may roam?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey asl
You: I spin my penis like a roulette wheel
Stranger: like bruno
You: I soak sponges in my own vomit then bathe my cat with them
You: He's called Vom Vom McStinky
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hii (:
You: Unhand me Priest!
Stranger: asl ?
Stranger: what ?
You: I cannot think of anything I wish to say to you, you smelly hag
Stranger: why ?
You: Because you drain the liquid fun right out of my brain like an excitement sponge
Stranger: you are successful?
You: CASE.
You: CLOSED.
You have disconnected.

Stranger: m or f
You: That's 'from' backwards!
You: I won't fall for your trickery
You have disconnected.

Omeglets - #6

Stranger: will u ahve chat sex with me
You: If you truly believe that I will
You: Then yes
Stranger: boy or girl
You: I'm not feeling the belief
Stranger: i believe
You: No, That's just your erection
You: BELIEVE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hi
You: *breathes in your face*
Stranger: wtf
You: Guess what I had for dinner
You: *breathes in your face*
Stranger: poo
You: Nope!
You: Guess again
Stranger: die u fuck
You: *breathes in your face*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: HEY`
You: I do not care for your tone of voice young man
Stranger: sorry papa.
Stranger: please forgive me?
You: No!
You: Get in the dungeon
Stranger: D:
Stranger: ahhh!!! not the dungeon!!
You: My rapist is getting hungry
You: Go tend to his needs
Stranger: but im sorrry!!
Stranger: please no papa!!!!
You: Uncle Rape needs some care and attention
Stranger: noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
You: No more arguing back or I'll take you to Beastiality Sue
Stranger: ouu fuck, not her!!
You: Exactly
You: Get in the dungeon
You: And assume the position
Stranger: which position would that be ?!!!?!
Stranger: :O\
You: If you can't remember from last time you'll just have to ask Uncle Rape for extra help
Stranger: ohh okay, i will ask. BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST!!!! *runs away*
You: *fires rifle*
You: Got him
You: Guess I'll take him to Cannibal Karl instead
You have disconnected.

Stranger: m/f?
You: I'm here
Stranger: male?
You: I'm over here!
Stranger: wht?
Stranger: u male or female?
You: Haha oh Jake, You are silly, I'm right here!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hi, I'm a male.
You: *Group applaud*
Stranger: .
Stranger: Thanks guys.
You: Welcome to our little.. Family, As I like to call it
You: We are here for you
You: We're all male here
You: There is nothing wrong with it
You: Your buddy is going to be Keith
You: Say Hi to Keith
Stranger: Fuck you Keith.
You: *Group disapproving glare*
You: I don't think you were meant for our family
You: Keith is going to need a lot of group hugging and calming sounds to repair the damage you have caused
You: I hope you're proud of yourself
You have disconnected.

Just a couple Omegles to keep you going

Stranger: Hey asl?
You: Hand me that towel, I've done a woopsy!
Stranger: Did you know that what you are talking about is limited by your false sense of reality? Maybe if you studied just a little bit harder while in school you wouldnt be blinded by these fallacies that have cast a cloud over your judgment. I once knew a guy like you who had everything he could ever want but in the end it meant nothing, because he never knew his true place in the grand scheme of things. Im not trying to tell you how to live your life but, honestly buddy I think its time you stepped down off of your high horse and looked life square in the eyes.
You: I have poopy on my knees
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: *tucks penis away secretly*
Stranger: lmao
You: STOP STARING
Stranger: im not
You: I can FEEL your eyes on me
Stranger: im sorry
You: I'm no peasant
Stranger: srslyyyy
You: Wanna trade garlic?
You: I'll give you this garlic for that garlic over there
Stranger: okayyyy
You: Result!
You: *trades*
Stranger: *trading*
You: This garlic makes me one happy gypsy
Stranger: i love gypsy's
You: I should make a sign declaring my happy gypsy status...
Stranger: wewwww i think you should
Stranger: did you know theres mountains on the moon
You: Duh, Where do you think gypsies come from
Stranger: omgaaaaaad hello \o/
You: Didn't we already do the greetings
Stranger: im sorry
You: I'll check my notebook, I usually write this kind of stuff down
Stranger: your funny
You: Yeah we did, See?
You: Thursday, Greeted new friend while tucking away penis
You: Eyed up their garlic
Stranger: cool ill remember next time
You: You should write it down like I do
You: I have 2000 volumes of this
Stranger: your a lier
You: *You're a liar*
Stranger: we didnt actually say hello
You: I did
You: Maybe you didn't hear me
You: OR MAYBE YOU WERE TOO BUSY STARING
You: You said you wasn't staring
You: No whose the liar
You: *changes sign to unhappy gypsy*
Stranger: lierlierlier
You: *Liar
You: Fine, Be that way
You: You can have your garlic back anyway
Stranger: thankyou
Stranger: i thought we could of had something really special
You: Clearly not
You: I'm glad I cursed that garlic I gave you
Stranger: i love you
Stranger: dont do this to me
You: It's too late
You: I cursed you with an insatiable thirst for strawberry milkshake
Stranger: where are you gypsy?
Stranger: omg i actually have
Stranger: ive got yazoo downsaires
You: But it will never be enough
You: You will always want more
You: All the strawberry milkshake in the world will not be enough to quench this thirst
Stranger: i have dr pepper
Stranger: why do you make the rules
You: Because I'm a fucking moon gypsy
You: *does freaky dance*
Stranger: is your name jonjo?
You: No
You: That's my father
You: I'm Jonjo Junior
Stranger: i know your daddy
Stranger: thats a cute name
You: Jonjo Junior Senior Junior is my full name
Stranger: <3
You: What's that?
You: What's less than 3?
You: You make no sense
Stranger: where are you from
You: The moon mountains
You: A little town called Wallop
You: We make novelty hammers
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hello
You: I'm a trickster
You: Watch out for my tricks
You: WHICH WAY DID HE GO
You have disconnected.

Guess what? Strangers lie...

Well well well! It seems that I, NMRNOMG and The Great Boberic *tips hat*, are part of Omegle history. A small part though it may be...

If you go onto Omegle today you'll see a new message alongside the usual 'You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!'

Yes indeed, In fact you'll get this message too:

'Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.'

I'm sure we weren't the only ones to do this but here is our effort:

You: This is Paul from Omegle. We have received multiple complaints of inappropriate, lewd behaviour traced to your IP address. Your internet service provider will be alerted within the next 24 hours.

If you feel you have received this message in error, type 1 to connect to an Omegle representative.

Paul

1(802)380-4064
Omegle Inc.
Stranger: 1
You: Connecting....
You: Hello, My name is Tim from the Omegle customer service dept. How can I help you?
Stranger: Well i recieved a message saying you had multiple complaints of lewd or inappropriate behavior traced to this IP address and there has been nothing of the sort said i do not believe
You: Well I have some of your conversation logs in front of me and that doesn't seem to be the case
Stranger: I really have no idea why though i have not said anything wrong have i?
You: You've been calling other Omegle users abusive names
Stranger: Such as??
You: 'Cock muncher', 'Reptilian Scumbag from Xenon', 'Weasel Snatcher' as well as some others
Stranger: When were these used??
You: The 3 examples stated were recent, within 1 - 3 days. Are you aware of anyone else using your computer without your knowing?
Stranger: This computer belongs to me and only me. and this is the first time for me ever getting on this website from this computer. There must be some kind of mix up i dont use any sort of names. if i dont feel like talking to someone all i do is click out of the conversation. I dont know how this could be possible but this is the honest truth.
You: I'm sorry Sir/Madame but I can see that the IP you are using is the same used for the aforementioned conversations. Are you sure that your internet is secure?
Stranger: Im a almost positive that the internet is secured however our carrier was just switched so i dont know if that has anything to do with it but i am certian that nothing of that sort has ever come from my computer
You: Can I ask which carrier you use?
Stranger: well we had Fios but now switched to Frontier i believe but im not entirely sure on that one
Stranger: I assure you this must be a mistake however because i only learned about this website from a friend while i was over at his house only 2 days ago. and this is the first time i have been on this computer since then,
You: If that's the case then I may know what has happened. We have had a lot of trouble with Frontier, Mixing up the IP adresses. It may be that your IP has been mistaken for another using that carrier, I would suggest contacting your carrier and ask them if they are aware of anyone else using your IP address or any possible mix up. I cannot stop them being contacted within the next 24 hours but if you inform them of the situation and give them my email I'm sure we can have this sorted.
Stranger: I am sorry for any problem that has occured from this. we have had problems with our internet before that i have tried to call and not been able to get a hold of anyone within a couple of days.
Stranger: I am sorry for any problems that may have occured and i will try my best to resolve them
You: Ok, Under the irregular circumstances of this problem we won't take any action as of yet. What I suggest is to stay off Omegle until you have contacted your carrier and they have got in touch with us, Just to prevent any further problems. I would continue trying to get hold of your carrier and inform them of the situation.
Stranger: I will no longer return to Omegle even after this problem is solved just so no further problems will occur. Omegle was a great website and i made many friends but i do not believe i will be back. Thank you for your time
Stranger: Good Bye
You: Thank you for being so co-operative. I'm sure we will get this problem sorted soon, I regret this situation has occured and I urge you to return to Omegle one day in the future.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Omeglets - #5

Not that many today but felt like adding these. Mainly to subtly slip in the size of my penis.
<.<
>.>

Stranger: hey
You: i just dont know what to do with myself
Stranger: how bout u cut off ur 2 inch dick
You: because then ill only have 10 inches left
You have disconnected.

You: If white = black, Why am I so aroused?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
You: This doesn't look HD to me
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hii
You: When I bend over, I can hear my dad moan
You: Weird huh?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hello!
You: Welcome!
You: Would you like an apple?
Stranger: no, im Allard to fruit
Stranger: allergic*
You: My names Allard
You: Allard Ballard
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Omeglets - #4

Stranger: hello
You: You can call me Lorenzo
You: Lorenzo A. Kelsey
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I'm from Kacorlak
Stranger: cool
Stranger: no idea where it is
You: It's a small village in Hungary
Stranger: i see
You: In Zala
Stranger: okay
Stranger: i'm from Finland
You: Zala is about 3,784 km squared
Stranger: ok
You: With about 291,700 inhabitants
You: CONSIDER YOURSELF EDUMACATED
You have disconnected.

Stranger: hi
You: LICK ME
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: oh hai
You: OH HAI THAR
You: I know right?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: heyy
Stranger: asl
You: Wtf, GET OUT MY HEAD
You have disconnected.

You: Can you feel the vibrations?
You: Vibrating aren't they
Stranger: No.
You: Funny little vibrations
You: Vibrating all night and all day
You: Like there was nothing else to do but vibrate
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hiyaaa
You: Vicious little hobbits
Stranger: strange young mind
You: My mind is old but I am young
You: I had my mind removed and replaced with my nans
You: She wasn't using it anymore
You: She was too busy shaving the cat
Stranger: waw, i was in the same position not a long time back,
but she was too busy shaving the dog
Stranger: instead
You: My nan makes curry with electrical discharge
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: boo!
You: RACIST DWARVES JUMPING THE FENCES OF INDECISIVE BUT NOT QUITE ALONE PEOPLE
Stranger: how interesting.
You: THEY THINK ITS FUNNY
You have disconnected.

You: Is sound contagious?
Stranger: ye
You: But when does it?
Stranger: i don't know
You: So why do they?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

'Shopped.

One more for the road. It's quite lengthy but rather funny, some of my best work. HAR HAR. Don't miss the other updates from today:
Here
and
Here for the Omeglets - #3

Enjoy.

Stranger: holla!
Stranger: lol
You: 'shopped
Stranger: say what?
You: I think you're photoshopped
Stranger: oh... okaaaaay then!
You: :)
You: I'm a little bored
Stranger: i can tell haha
You: I have this ball
You: Would you like to hear what noise it makes when I through it against a wall
Stranger: so your a guy haha just kidding
You: *scah-runch!*
You: It's a nice noise I think
Stranger: your weird
Stranger: i think
You: I know
You: It's a curse
Stranger: haha it's okay i'm weird too no worrie
Stranger: *worries
You: I drink my milk off the ceiling!
Stranger: interesting
Stranger: i hate milk
You: Eating cereal is tricky
Stranger: haha i hate milk but i eat cereal allllll the time
Stranger: is that weird?
You: I'm exactly the same
You: BUT
You: Have you considered milkshake?
Stranger: chocolate milk is okay
You: The process of shaking milk into chocolate
Stranger: haha milkshakes are yummmy
You: I tried making my own
You: But it didn't work
Stranger: ha... that's a little funny
You: I was shaking my milk for a week
Stranger: LMAO
You: Just looked like shaken milk
Stranger: im guessing your a female? lol
You: My gender is of no importance
Stranger: ohhh
Stranger: i see
Stranger: your cool
You: You're*
You: Thanks
Stranger: you're welcome!
You: 'Your' cool too
Stranger: sorry i have bad grammar when i IM
You: I do love an inside joke
Stranger: i just type whatever comes to mind
Stranger: i have a ton of those
You: If i typed whatever came to mind, Not many people would understand me
Stranger: hahhaa well not many ppl understand me so i don't realy care
You: I think in various different screams
Stranger: screams?
You: I have allocated each scream to a different emotion
You: It's very complicated
Stranger: sounds interesting
Stranger: :)
You: My psychiatrist thinks so
Stranger: hahaha you have a shrink
You: Or at least that's what I think he thinks
Stranger: that's funny
You: How can you be sure that I'm not lying?
You: How can I be sure I'm not lying?
Stranger: i can't
You: Me niether
Stranger: so i pretend you're telling the truth
You: I pretend to know what these selection of symbols actually mean
You: I think I pull it off quite effectively
You: At least it seems that way
Stranger: Are you a middle aged man that lives in you'r mom's basement?
Stranger: That's what i think when i hear you talk.
You: I am a still at a nice ripe age I'll have you know
You: As for the basement... We don't have a basement
You: Maybe one day
You: I could give you my asl but I find that rather dull
Stranger: haha yeah i guess
You: Well... Here goes
You: 19/M/UK
You: Splendid no?
Stranger: yes!
Stranger: :)
Stranger: im 16/f/usa haha
You: I enjoy your enthusiasm
Stranger: thanks. i have a lot of that. maybe too much.
You: Although I do not see the humour in your asl
Stranger: lol well i type "haha" alot
You: I put my excess enthusiasm in a bowl and feed it to my cat
Stranger: i don't know why.
Stranger: LOL!
You: My cat is very enthusiastic
Stranger: That's good to know.
You: He paraglides
Stranger: what's that?
You: Around the living room, Looking for peanuts
Stranger: okayy then
Stranger: im gonna go
Stranger: bye!
Stranger: :)
You: That's a shame
You: I have much more to share
Stranger: You can share it with some other loser on omegle
You: So you're a loser?
You: Interesting
Stranger: but i have a life to live.
Stranger: yeah i am
You: I have several lives to live!
Stranger: Did you purchase them off of Ebay?
You: I store them in a shoe
You: No, Mine came from a tree
You: I grow my own
Stranger: Woah, that's cool. maybe you can send me some?
You: I do sell them on actually at a very reasonable price. www.Veryreasonablypricedhomegrownlivefromatree.com
Stranger: Hahahahahaha you're funny.
Stranger: Are you in college?
You: I finished my education last year in fact
Stranger: Yay! what are you doing?
Stranger: like for your education lol/
You: I studied Film and Media, As well as abstract thought and interperative dance
Stranger: That's cool! I think I want to be either an optometrist or a dentist.
You: I have no knowledge of optometrists and suspect it may be a figment of our collective imagination
Stranger: It's a fancy word for an eye doctor :)
You: You may find this interesting then, I have long since evolved past the need for teeth
You: A doctor for eyes you say, So... Would my eyes have to phone the doctor or 'optometrist' or would I myself have to make the booking on behalf of my eyes?
Stranger: Um you would.
Stranger: wow.
You: Hmmm, I'm not sure I like the sound of that
You: Would I need to accompany my eyes to the doctor?
You: Or could I slip them in an envelope
Stranger: what the fuck
You: Would some other eyes be made available to me while I wait for mine to return?
You: I think that should be your policy
Stranger: Okay, now i know you are REALY weird.
Stranger: But i realy have to go now.
Stranger: I have to get ready for a graduation party.
You: I'll see you in the fall, For the gala!
Stranger: what's the gala?
You: I'll bring the yacht, You bring the fruit selection
You: Toodles!
You have disconnected